2013 Grammy Rundown

We’ve mentioned in the past that we thought the Grammy Awards always brought out the trashiest outfits in the past, so we were stunned to discover this year an actual dress code was instituted!  CBS Standards and Practices sent a memo to attendees and performers describing what kind of dress was inappropriate, including “buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered,” as well as the “bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack.”  The memo obtained by Deadline.com, also prohibited sheer clothing, exposed genitals and any kind of printed obscenity.  Many speculated that stars have attempted to outdo each other ever since Jennifer Lopez wore her barely-there, green and blue Versace gown in 2000.  We’ve agreed that celebrities have just gotten more and more ridiculous with their outfit selections for the music ceremony with every year.  Starting with J. Lo (who looked just even more ridiculous this year in a slit up to there, and her favorite tacky slicked-back bun) and then most notably, Toni Braxton in basically just white straps tied together in 2001, and Pink copying the theme in 2003… Rhianna looking like a toilet cleaner in 2011, while Lady Gaga showed up in an egg…  And last year, Fergie showed up in black underwear and a see-through orange lace monstrosity, while Victoria’s Secret model Anne V wore a dress that was probably attached to her crotch…  So, our editors were kind of looking forward to the fashion after hearing about this dress code!  But honestly, the red carpet was a little boring, and again, there was a lot of black and white, which seems to be a huge theme this red carpet season.  Our editors are constantly irked by the fake good girl act Taylor Swift is always putting on, but we just couldn’t resist – she was the best dressed at this year’s Grammy’s (pictured, top).  The country pop star sported a sexy, cream chiffon gown by J. Mendel adorned with crisscrossing silver straps, and a slightly messed-up German girl braid.  Maybe little Taylor is also sick of always trying to be a cute and innocent, because since her last break-up, her clothing has significantly improved.  We didn’t give her due credit in her backless, eggplant Donna Karan frock at this year’s Golden Globes, or for her revealing, deep V-neck Ralph Lauren stunner at the People’s Choice Awards.  (Then again, giving Adele the stink-eye and not laughing at Tina Fey’s jokes kind of automatically puts you on our Shit List, so we’re not feeling that guilty about it…)  Oh, Taylor, you can’t even sing live, and your daddy bought you all your fame – you can’t glare at the musical revelation of our generation for beating you!  Wake up!  Anyhow, our other favorites included two-thirds of Destiny’s Child – Kelly Rowland wowed us again in a sheer, black diagonal gown by Georges Chakra (pictured, above left) that definitely violated the CBS memo, and Beyonce throwing everyone a curve-ball by showing up in black and white graphic pantsuit by Osman (pictured, above right).  The other biggest blonde in country pop, Carrie Underwood, also looked lovely in two shades of silver (pictured below).  Her red carpet look was by Roberto Cavalli (pictured, bottom left) and accessorized with 380 carats of diamonds around her neck, while her strapless stage outfit (which showed a projected light show of sorts) was created by Don O’Neill (pictured, bottom right).  We haven’t featured the American Idol star before, but we must admit – her makeup is always flawless, and we adore it!  It’s kind of ironic we were a little bored for the 2013 Grammy’s, but at least everyone – well, almost everyone – looked a little classier this year!